"Fubar the Adequate stands as a beacon of light in the modern-day darkness of maladjustment, mediocrity, and superficiality. The unwashed masses cry out for guidance. Like a foghorn of common sense, Fubar's words cut through the mire to bring direction to those lost in the abyss of confusion and misdirection."
As you might imagine, Fubar himself wrote that. The truth is, he satirizes the traditional astrological forecast while remaining true to the spirit of the messages that are written in the stars. For example, a typical astrologer will see that Jupiter is aligned with Saturn in Aries 8th solar house bringing about feelings of passion and the motivation to financially improve one's self. Fubar will cut to the chase and tell Aries that that they won't feel guilty about taking cab fare after a one-night stand.

Probably the most famous horoscopic interpretation that most people of a certain age remember consists of the following words:
When the moon is in the 7th house
and Jupiter aligns with Mars,
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars.
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius!
Harmony and understanding;
Sympathy and trust abounding;
No more falsehoods or derisions;
Golden living dreams of visions;
Mystic crystal revelations
And the mind's true liberation:
Aquarius! Aquarius!

If you recognize these lyrics, Fubar knows you fall into one of the following categories:

1. You're one of the few surviving members of The Fifth Dimension.

2. You're an appreciator of crappy old Broadway musicals. (translation: fag.)

3. You probably do well at Trivial Pursuit and people hate you because of it.

Fubar would never tell you crap like that. Fubar would tell you this:

"This is bullshit. There's no practical message in those lyrics for anyone on the planet who isn't wearing a roach clip dangling from the leather bootstring around their neck and reading Carlos Castanada like he's Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all rolled into one, and if you're one of those people, maybe you should put away the patchouli oil and figure out how the hell you're gonna retire some day when your only prize possessions are a dime bag of Panamanian and three Cheech and Chong LP's with the cellophane still on the jacket. Maybe it's time to phase out of this stage of your life with a little Trent Reznor, follow that up with some A3, and then get a job and, for Christ's sake, vote! You want a mystic crystal revelation? We're up to our asses in falsehoods and derisions coming from a regime of warlords and marketeers who saw a window of opportunity to pad their pockets so far into the future that our children's children will still be paying the bills that are due. The only harmony and understanding is among the microscopic segment of the population that stands to profit from the deaths of innocent people in a war that was declared under false pretenses. As a result, we're paying like $3 for a gallon of gas and making the Texas oil barons richer by the second (and when I say "Texas oil barons," I mean the self-righteous and greedy pricks who bankrolled this sham of a presidency and assumption to royalty) while the country we're at war with is paying something like the American equivalent of a quarter for the same amount of gas. Once you sort that golden living dream out to your own satisfaction, chew on this vision for a while: nothing truly liberates your mind like being able to look at yourself in the mirror without embarrassment, knowing that you helped mankind as a whole and not just yourself at mankind's expense.
Often earthy and always straight to the point, Fubar the Adequate pulls no punches in conveying astrological forecasts while always striving to at least raise a smile, if not a hearty belly laugh. He appeals to a broad demographic with cultural references drawn from throughout the eras of the baby boomer, the me generation, generation X, and right up through the new millenium to the current day. Whether the readers' tastes in lifestyle run toward punk, swing, grunge, standard, rock, pop, classical, hip-hop, Republican, Democratic, Socialist, Communist, Christian, Jewish, Atheist, Wiccan, Fubar's appeal is at once offensive, motivational, deprecating, and downright funny.